The Sarah Palin Chronicles

I try and get to the gym at least five or six times a week. (I am currently working on a separate post about my gym “adventures”) The gym I go to is close to my home and there are several TV’s, mainly in the cardio section. I go to the gym in the afternoon, and the same three programs are playing every time I go in. Two of the televisions play Days of our Lives. One of them is tuned to ESPN Sports center, and the final TV is tuned to Fox News. Now, I don’t know who is in charge of the programming selection. I personally don’t wanna try read paragraph after paragraph of Sean Hannity telling me that Socialists and terrorists have invaded the country. I watch 24 for that. However, while I was in the gym today, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin was doing an interview. Thankfully, the volume was off. I was staring at her overly shaped eye brows I re-realized that I can’t stand Sarah Palin.

Why does she think anyone cares what she has to say?

If you are unfamiliar with Sarah Palin I will fill you in. She was governor of Alaska and a vice-presidential candidate in the 2008 election. Since her failure to become Vice President she has stayed active in politics, becoming an outspoken supporter of the Tea Party Movement. There were even a fair amount of support for her to try and run for President in the 2012 election. If you like Sarah Palin, I feel sorry for you. More over, if you are a Palin Supporter I’m going to give you a little spoiler alert and let you know that you should stop reading now, because it’s gonna get ugly.

Sarah Palin isn’t even a one term governor. She resigned from office before she even finished her first term. The only reason that John McCain brought her on to the ticket was because she wasn’t as disgustingly unattractive as Nancy Pelosi, and he was trying to prove that the GOP isn’t filled with misogynistic bigots. My point being is that Sarah Palin’s only real political contribution is being a governor of Alaska. Woh-who. How many people even live in Alaska? There’s like 400 Eskimos and a handful of white people who “just love the outdoors.” Alaska is only a part of the United States on a technicality. If it wasn’t for ANWR we would have given Alaska away to the first country dumb enough to take it.

Palin’s Alaska 

Sarah Palin has been trying to convince everyone to take her seriously ever since John McCain brought her on to his ticket. What’s the best way to convince America and the rest of the world that you deserve to be taken seriously? If you answered quit your job and star in your own reality television show, congratulations, you’re just as stupid as Palin.

Sarah Palin’s Alaska was a reality television show aired on TLC in late 2010. The aim of the show was to show the world the wonders of Alaska. What it turned out to be was a televised tourist exposition with Palin and her red neck family. All it really proved to me is that Sarah Palin is absolutely insane, and she apparently isn’t capable of giving any of her children normal names. Sarah Palin’s children’s names are: Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig. Seriously? Those sound like the names of extras from The Jersey Shore. Speaking of The Jersey Shore. If you showed me an episode of  Sarah Palin’s Alaska and then an episode of The Jersey Shore and then you asked which one of those two casts was more qualified to run America I honestly don’t know what I would say.

Bristol Palin is not hot

With the advent of people actually knowing who Sarah Palin, America was forced to have to listen to mindless drivel about her family. It wasn’t long after they were first seen in public that every one was talking about how hot Bristol Palin is. I don’t care who says it, Bristol Palin is not that attractive. If your definition of hot is someone who looks decently attractive and manages to get knocked up at 18 and then writes a memoir two years later, then by all means fall in love with Bristol. You can have her.

In summation, I just plain don’t like Sarah Palin. Sorry Tea Party.

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